Who is Ian Randall? Obsessed with getting good grades to win the Luthor Foundation college scholarship, Ian intends to graduate high school at the end of his sophomore year. Realizing his shop class grade will bring down his GPA, he stabs and kills the shop instructor, Mr. Frankel.
Chloe becomes interested in Ian, offering to do an interview with him for The Torch. Ian offers math tutoring to Lana. Taking "double date" to the next level, Ian physically splits himself in two, dating both girls at the same time, asking them not to tell each other to save the other's feelings.
What's up with Clark? Ian lies to Clark about his shop grade, causing suspicion. Clark's suspicions prompt him to warn the girls about Ian. He tells each one separately that Ian is playing them off each other. Both Lana and Chloe dismiss Clark's warnings as jealousy.
Clark confronts Ian about seeing both girls at the same time, accusing him of using the girls to get his scholarship. Ian says he's just jealous.
Still suspicious, Clark and Pete look for the shop instructor. They find Mr. Frankel dead in a closet of the shop class. The room is torched, and Clark sees Ian there. Clark rushes to Chloe's house, finding Ian and Chloe making out. He tells Chloe he suspects Ian of murder. Chloe tells Clark Ian has been with her for the past three hours.
What's up with Jonathan? Working in the barn, the tractor falls on Jonathan's leg. Clark arrives in time to lift the tractor off and using x-ray vision, sees that he has broken his leg. Clark takes care of all the chores while Jonathan recovers. Martha blames herself for the accident, since she wasn't at home to help.
What's up with Lex? Lex visits the hospital to be sure Jonathan gets the best care. There he meets Jonathan's doctor, attractive female Dr. Bryce. As he discusses Jonathan's care, he inadvertently offends Dr. Bryce with his offers to fly in a specialist from Metropolis.
A frustrated Lex loses his temper over a parking ticket, landing him in an anger management class. At the class he again meets Dr. Bryce. She refuses when he first asks for a date. Lex is persistent and interested. Later they do make plans to get together.

Guest-star Jonathan Taylor Thomas portrays "Ian." TV audiences know him best from his role as "Randy Taylor" in the family favorite comedy "Home Improvement" from 1991-1998. Jonathan has also done voices for several animated films, and appeared in many recent films.

How it ends: Clark and Pete play super sleuth by paging Ian to meet both girls at the same time. They know they're seeing double when they see him in two different places at the exact same time.
Back at The Torch offices, Lana tells her new roommate Chloe that Ian is playing them both. Ian comes by the Torch. Then realizing Clark is on to his secret, he locks both girls inside. The second Ian is there too. He leaves a note on the computer, which Clark finds, leading him to the bridge at the Smallville Dam.
Each of the two Ians struggle with the girls, trying to throw them over the bridge. One Ian throws Chloe over. Clark jumps off the bridge, landing at the bottom before Chloe, then safely catches her in his arms. The second Ian tries to throw Lana from the bridge. In the struggle, Lana grabs the railing, and finds herself dangling by one hand from the bridge, over the ravine, with the second Ian hanging on to her feet. Clark grabs Lana just as she loses her grip, about to fall. The second Ian does fall to his death.
Later at the Talon, Chloe and Lana try to apologize to Clark for not heeding his warnings about Ian. Clark tells them both he'd never let anyone hurt them. The girls wanted honesty. Clark says he expected more from both of them than just treating him like the jealous boyfriend. Clark says "If you want to be friends, let's be friends." When he leaves the Talon, he seems content with that arrangement for the first time. Both girls look a bit disappointed.
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We open (fearfully) on an Industrial Arts class. Folks with torches, heavy aprons, and masks are making birdfeeders and ashtrays. True story: I took shop class in seventh grade and made a little fingerboard half-pipe out of sheet metal and solder. For the life of me, I still can't imagine what adults were thinking giving acetylene torches to seventh graders. Back to the show: One kid is carrying what looks like brass knuckles for a two-fingered giant. Pete, in a yellow shirt, is striking a pose like The Thinker as the blobby shop teacher holds up a silver eight-inch-or-so letter "S" in front of Clark's chest. The letter is shaped just like the one in the Superman logo. Man, cheese this early will surely constipate. The teacher asks what it's supposed to be. Clark says it's for Smallville High. He says he thought the school logo could use an update. "Your form could use a little function," Shop Teacher Squat tells Clark. Clark has no idea what that means. Pete does an "I told you so," and says you can't miss with a candlestick holder. He holds up a silver candlestick holder that must take up about a square foot of table space.

A little ways off, Squat is telling another student, "You call this a letter opener?" Naw, holmes. He calls it a shiv. And he will cut you, man. You dig, cabron? Cut you! Cut you... For the first time, we see Jonathan Taylor Thomas, who looks like a shaggy, young Val Kilmer, pre-Top Secret. This kid is not Mel Torme. He's wearing a green shirt, by the way. Squat lists the ways in which this is a sub-standard letter opener. For one thing, it doesn't open letters. For another, it -- UGH! ARGHH! (See? I told you, man. Cut you!) Tool Time Boy (who, for simple purposes of brevity, I'll just call Tool Boy) asks if he's going to be graded down for this. Squat says that Tool Boy (I like the sound of that already) is going to get the grade he deserves. Tool Boy says he did the work and came to every class. Squat says that attitude and effort also count. And diction. And pronunciation. And not drooling when you talk, Sylvester the Cat. Squat walks away, leaving Tool Boy to look down into the abyss that is his drool cup. The bell rings. Squat tells the class that most of them did well and that grades will be posted Thursday. He shoots a nasty look at Tool Boy. Tool Boy sad.

As they pack up their stuff, Pete asks Clark for a "sneak preview." Is that some sort of sex thing? Clark shakes his head. Pete nudges Clark some more and says he won't tell Bo Duke. Clark uses his x-ray vision to look inside the grade book. It says that Clark has a C+, Pete a B+, Tool Boy a solid C. Pete asks how he did. Clark says he was smart to stick to the basics. Yep. Good old Basic Pete. (more...)
-- Omar G (TWoP)

When Clark tries to warn Lana and Chloe about Ian, an overachieving student who is surreptitiously dating both girls, they accuse Clark of jealousy but realize too late that he was right. Meanwhile, frustration with his father causes Lex to lose his temper and attack a parking attendant's car with a golf club, landing him in an anger management class where he meets an interesting new woman. Sam Jones III, Annette O'Toole and John Schneider also star.

Chloe: What, do I have a sign on me that says 'Mutant Magnet'?

Clark: Well, first of all, we can stop acting like I'm the jealous boyfriend since none of us have actually dated

Chloe: Okay, let's go over the rules of the house.
Lana: And they are?
Chloe: 1) Do not make your bed until after 5:00. 2) Do not touch the dishes in the sink until it's overflowing. and 3) contrary to my dad's protestations, your bedroom floor is definetly a closet.

Pete: Any idea how an only child can make like the Olsen twins?

Lana: Chloe said they were just finishing up an interview.
Clark: Does Chloe always finish up her interviews by making out with her subjects?

Bryce: What'd you do - verbally demean your butler?
Lex: Cute.

Clark: I don't remember ordering a side of hostility.

Chloe: What are you doing?
Ian: Securing my future. On the other hand, yours don't look so bright.

Chloe: I should have known better. Only Chloe Sullivan could fall for a guy who splits in two.

Gabe: Mi casa su casserole.

Bryce: When I refused to join my father's practice he stopped speaking to me.
Lex: They hate when you do that.

     Dichotic fit the standard Smallville monster mold: teen has special powers, abuses them, turns evil, and Clark saves the day. Unfortunately, we were left wondering how the heck Ian ever got the ability to split into two. Maybe it was the meteor rocks, maybe not. Either way, he abused his powers, tried to kill Chloe and Lana, and Clark saved them both a while killing Ian in the process (or at least ONE of the Ians). The only memorable thing to come out of this was that Clark seemed to give up on having a relationship with either Chloe or Lana. The two girls have also agreed to not keep secrets from each other. Big stuff!
     About the best thing about this week’s episode was Lex taking a golf club to a meter maid’s (meter mister, perhaps?) car. This gets him thrown into an anger management class where he meets an attractive doctor. She just happens to intrigue him and, what do you know, her father is a pre-eminent cosmetic surgeon from Metropolis. For once I would like to see Lex with someone who isn’t in the upper class. He meets these women who are strong-minded and daddy just happens to be someone well known.
     It was nice to see Chloe get a love interest and some screen time, but would have been nicer if her potential love interest was not a monster, as usual. As I have noted before, the best a series has to offer is not usually on the table prior to November, but tonight's episode gives one cause to worry. Dichotic is definitely one of the worst episodes of the season. It had little to add to this season’s story arc and didn’t reveal anything new with the main characters. Next week’s episode, Skinwalkers, looks much more interesting. Hopefully, it will bring us back to the quality we expect from the show.
This week’s grade: D
Reviewed by April Stockwell.